If god/jesus exists then why does he allow you to suffer severe crippling pain every day?

I don't know why exactly. But my pain doesn't cause me to question God. The pain is real very real, although it's invisible it's far more real to me than my mental health issues which are difficult to grasp hold of. Yes I hate the pain but it's something I can focus on and make sense of, unlike the mental health issues which are a mystery, so in some ways it's a comfort as it's something tangible. I used to self harm, now if I ever feel the urge I concentrate on my appendix scar, the pain is already there so I don't need to inflict more. Physical pain is an outlet for emotional pain.
Plus it helps me identify with my patients, other people around me, it keeps me grounded, pain isn't always a negative thing, I'm sure it will make me a far better nurse than someone who has never experienced pain. It's like my self harm scars, I despise them too, but the number of other people who sought me out because of my scars for help, I can't count, so in some ways they've been a blessing as they've enabled others to come out and speak out about their problems.
There are a lot of injustices in the world, pain, suffering, abuse, but positivity can arise out of them eventually, they make us appreciate the good things in life. I still ask why did my Dad die, why was I sexually assaulted, why do I have to struggle with mental illness and physical illness, but these experiences have made me grow as a person, taught me a lot and enabled me to connect with other people in a more meaningful way. I may have gone through a lot in my life but I still count myself as extremely blessed.
I've just restarted my walk with Jesus so I have a lot of questions to ask, I don't know if I'll get the answers, but regardless I'll continue on my path and see where it leads me.

Ask me anything