Update

So, developments in the world of Izzy?
I've succumbed to wonders of Twitter... http://twitter.com/bellebot

Also I've decided I'm definitely going to learn to ride, hopefully April, I'm pencilled in for my DAS along with Sephi pending theory and CBT go to plan. I imagine they will. I'm so excited. The motorcycle gear collection has already started.

• Bright pink leather jacket by Wolf, apparently custom made for Jodie Marsh before the boob op. It's epic! You'll see me coming a mile off.
• Leather trousers, AGV, fairly standard black and armoured, brand new and very cheap as a result of the Wyder group going into administration.
• Fly motocross boots, I'm aware I'm not actually going to be involved in motocross, but they look great and were only £18 second hand
• Black leather armoured gloves, my hands are notoriously odd, so finding a pair to fit wasn't an easy task, managed it in the end, think they're RSR Daytonas.

So by no means complete, missing a lid for a start, but it's well on the way.

In other news, I'm recovering from what my mum reckons was flu. Except I didn't have the cold like symptoms as such, just the lethargy, aching, general zombie feeling, vomiting, nausea and apparently looking like death. Lasted around a week or so, most of it spent in bed trying to muster the energy to grab a bottle of lucozade. Not flu in my books, that is at least 2 weeks in bed.
Also to coincide with my bed ridden state, I fell down the stairs, bashing my back on most of them as I went down. Back pain and the snapping crunching noise and then swelling of my ankle definitely kept me in bed. Though they seemed to sort themselves out pretty quickly. It was enough to keep me off work. I don't like being off sick much; can't exactly afford it.

Overall I'm fairly chirpy. Ridiculously excited about learning to ride and getting all my gear. Especially as I get to do it at the same time as Sephi. I've wanted to ride ever since I was little as my Dad used to ride. Can't wait!
Though mainly, the dark days are over. I love winter, however my body doesn't so I get a bit dreary, lethargic and glum. I counteract it by pointing blue LEDs at my eyes in the morning. It works wonders, when I remember to switch my light box on that is!
March is here however, and just like every year, the sunny days and the financial struggles of januray and febuary are in the past, so I feel much happier. They joys of SAD, though I refuse to believe I'm depressed during winter, despite the fact my doctor, mother and boyfriend all say I come across as depressed, withdrawn and angsty. I just have a dip in self esteem and the chemicals in my brain don't work quite as well. Just one of those things in life, it happens, nothing to worry about really. I'm on the up now anyway, and soon I'll have a bright pink motorcycle jacket to match my mood! :-D

In The Wars

Well my foot doesn't seem to be healing much at all. In fact it's just getting more and more painful by the day. The swelling has yet to subside, and it now makes strange crunching noises every now and then. My thoughts that something might be broken are becoming more and more likely.

For those who haven't heard the story of how I injured my foot:
Whilst at Wellspring I was on one of the bouncy castle obstacle courses for kids and instead of sliding down the last bit, I decided this was too costly time wise (I was in a race) and decided to jump it instead. However I misjudged my landing as the ground was moving somewhat (being bouncy) and managed to injure my right foot and knee. After lying on the grass in agony for a few minutes, I decided to stop being a wimp and walk it off. Didn't quite work, but I was coping with the pain and my subsequent hobble.
The following morning during worship some guy in front of us was slain in the spirit. Great you say, however as he fell back, Rob had to jump out of his way in order to catch him. In the process of this he jumped back onto my injured foot, all 15 stone of him. I felt like I was 5 again as it was so painful I actually burst into tears. Well my foot was prayed over, however no healing for me, just mild pain relief until the following day. Enough to stop me crying and hop back to the tent and watch everyone else pack up for me.

I was forced onto crutches for a few days as I couldn't weight bear and so had to miss work, and church. Though I managed to make it to Devoted with only one crutch and people helpfully carrying me about so I didn't have to look like such an invalid, just a flying madwoman brandishing a stick! So not too many of my plans were scuppered. However this was 3 weeks ago. Surely my foot should have returned to it's normal shape, not hurt this much and definitely not be crunching. At least I can walk relatively limp free now. I'll go see a doctor about it at some point.

Well the aforementioned crush has now abated, back to my usual self, or at least so I thought. Working at the pub last night a young man came in. He's been in before, I recognise him. Anyway I got chatting to him about tattoos and the like, and he offered to buy me a drink. Normally I don't think anything of this, I'm just flattered and accept gratefully. But this time I went all girly and bashful. Couldn't even remember what I usually take as a drink (tomato juice) and kinda tripped over my words. Felt so silly and embarrassed. Hadn't previously thought anything of this guy in terms of attraction, yet here I am all of a flutter over him buying me a drink. And now he's preying on my mind and I can feel the corners of my mouth curl up sheepishly and my cheeks gradually become warm. I'm turning into some love fool teenage girl! Everything I used to abhor when I was that age. Snap out of it Izzy! Ok, he is a bit yum thinking about it *bites lip*. Sheesh, what happened to my inability to fancy guys?

In other news, my lactose intolerance has reared its ugly head once more. So it's back to soya milk for me. Tea tastes rubbish with soya, so I've moved back to coffee. In Starbucks terms that's a tall double soya latte with peppermint. Sometimes I'll have vanilla or gingerbread instead of peppermint, and I'll forgo the extra shot of espresso, depends on my mood. One thing I have learnt, if you ask for peppermint in your latte at Nero your beverage turns out a murky green/grey colour, still tasty however.
The only problem is PMS dictates I eat chocolate, and I haven't been able to get my hands on co-op's fairtrade dark chocolate which is dairy free, so I've been munching my usual dairy milk. Bad move, I feel very sick now and extremely bloated. Ah well, I never learn it would seem. Perhaps one day.

I'm out this Saturday night in Preston if anyone fancies coming out with me?

Long Time No Blog...

Well, it's been a busy summer, most without internet access. Plus the family computer has died (mobo burnt out) so they've all decided they can use mine instead, regardless of whether I'm happy about it. I don't know what they do, but somehow they've managed to corrupt the hard drive, so I can't even do a system restore, disk clean, disk defrag etc and can't run the likes of windows live mail and explorer without an error message coming up. Good job I despise those programs and use firefox instead.
I'll fix it all when I have the time, first I need to get the meddlers off my precious machine.

So how's the summer gone? Well first was a week camping down in Cornwall for the Bible conference Wellspring. Would have been a great week apart from the constant rain and lashings of wind uprooting everyone's tents! Also I felt very much alone given I didn't know anyone my age. As much as I love the youth from my church, I do feel a bit left out due to the difference in age and life experience. My usual topics of conversation aren't appropriate for the young innocent and naive. It would seem a lot of the youth have lead very sheltered lives, which is great in some respects, but means we're miles apart in terms of thought patterns and attitudes. Also makes me worry as I've been part of the big bad world outside the church, and these kids are in for a shock when they hit it. Life isn't a nicey nicey outside of Garstang.
And apparently 20 is too old to be considered youth! It stops after 18! Shocker. But gradually I got to know people from other churches, so I felt more at ease as I found people more on my wave length.


Then I had a week down in Guildford visiting a friend of mine. He probably now thinks I'm even crazier than before, if that's at all possible. And insists I'm horribly independent and stubborn because I wouldn't let him pay for everything and buy me clothes. On reflection, what was I thinking? Missed out there. It also rained a lot there.

Then off to Scotland for the Edinburgh festival and dog sitting for friends. Great time there, Peebles is such a gorgeous place, shame about all the rain. Plus saw some great shows as part of the Fringe, even got to see Rhona Cameron. I love that woman so much, can't beat a Scottish lesbian comic!

I was also supposed to be heading off to Keswick, but my plans were scuppered by work and illness. Working the Saturday and the Sunday, then Monday morning I was hit by a horrific stomach bug type affair. From 4am to midday I spent most of my time clutching onto the toilet bowl for dear life praying that I could have some bowel control to retain what little dignity I had left after projectile vomiting all over the bathroom! Not pleasant I can tell you that. And I fear I've already included too much information, so I'll stop there.
It's now Tuesday evening, and I still feel like death warmed up. Horrible fever, general lethargy, aching muscles and very disorientated. I feel very empty after my body decided to purge everything in my system. Now my stomach has also shrunk considerably, my last meal I managed to eat about 3 mouthfuls before feeling full. Probably explains why I've lost 5 inches off my waist in just over a day (without tight lacing). I was bloated and suffering from PMT before with a 29" waist, now 24" and feel like air, empty and light headed. So confused, not sure what day, time or season it is. I hope my laptop isn't lying to me.
Ah well I have a pile of clothes next to me so I can easily adjust to temperature changes. From wearing a skimpy vest top and sweating profusely from being too hot, to 2 jumpers, a hoody and 2 dressing gowns when I have chills and so cold I fear I'm on the edge of death!

Right, well I'd best go find something productive to do. As for a silver lining to my miserable state, my hair has turned out magnificently shiny, not in the slightest bit greasy and my skin is clearing up, and of course the aforementioned shrinking to my waist giving my hourglass figure even more definition! Good times.